Chapter 3

Fyre!

Chapter 3

Everyone looked at Deacon dumbstruck. “Most of the Admins have been taken away, and the site is under attack!” No one said anything for a short moment but then Rawr stood up, his wild hair and beard fuzzed from sleeping and a knife in his hand. “Who is attacking?” He said in his animalistic voice. Even with his face shielded by his robotic mask, we could all sense Deacon looked worried. He then spoke in a grim voice “The lolcats.”

We all soon headed towards the main server room with Deacon explaining on the way. “The lolcats have always stayed on their part of the interwebs, always just stuck to their place, but recently a branch of them, the ‘Ceiling Cat Catnatics’, or CCC have begun invading other sites. Their first point of entry was through the door, out in the lobby room, but they caught our admins off guard and took them with them to the servers. We’ve got to rescue them!” When we arrived at the door leading to the room, it was already half ajar. Pawmarks lead from the lobby where we first arrived and into the room. “I need a small team to follow me with the rest staying behind to protect from their backup. Who will come?” A relatively small number of people, including me, volunteered. With that, Me, Defnop, Rawr, Sketch, Sangheili God, Tehviruss, Dualfinger and Deacon headed down the dark stairs with Qbix staying behind to lead the others. The last we heard was him telling people to follow him to the lobby.

The light seemed to have broken so I walked in front as my hair was spreading a red glow. The bloodlust Rawr walked right behind me, knife balancing in his hand, then Sangheili, with one of his many miniatures leaning on his shoulder, then Deacon barely able to walk without scraping the ceiling, Tehviruss, little but with a vicious look, Dualfinger as a robotic angel, then Sketch, floating a few centimeters above the stairs with glowing eyes and then Defnop silently following behind, a hand on his top hat. We soon reached the end of the stairs to arrive at a large, but dark room. From the dark we could hear the silly voices of hundreds of lolcats, most of them going ROFL ROFL ROFL.

A glowing pad hung on the wall, its headline saying ‘Server Status’. On it stood:

12:30 //Server status normal

12:56 //Requesting COM-link ‘Pelennor V’

13:00 //COM initiated

13:30 //Server status normal

13:50 //Unauthorized personnel in Main Server Room

14:00 //Server crash, COM terminated, server status in operational

I formed a fyreball in my hands, the kind of Fyre my uploader wrote about, and send it floating into the center of the room. Now that we could see, it could not be unseen. Hundreds of cats were tearing up the machinery of the servers, but all stopped and looked at us with their vicious eyes. I could hear Rawr growl next to me. One of the cats pointed and said “Is the hoomans! Is pahbak tiem!” Now a horde of cats decent upon us, I could just hear Deacon yell “Spread out” when I dodged the first cats, and burned the fur of the next. I kept fighting the cats, while I could hear the cries of the others over the noise of the horde of lolcats. Rawr was going “STFU n00b!” just as he stabbed the throat of a cat, but then another one jumped on his neck and screamed “Ur dayz r numbrd hooman! An I dunno many numbrs!”

Sangheili was sending off miniature after miniature to fight for him, Dualfinger had transformed into a combat cyborg, Tehviruss was using some kind of martial arts to dodge every cat, just to strike back with deadly speed, Deacon was gunning cats down with a gun built into his arm, Sketch simply looked with his glowing eyes which made the cats stop and then spontaneously ignite and Defnop had pulled out a large flamethrower out of his hat and yelled “Say hello to me, your little friend!” whilst he incinerated a bunch of cats. In the midst of all the battle noises and the meows, I heard a bark. And then, down the stairs came Minnie running. She ran into the horde of cats, barking and they parted. She ran towards the corner, and now we were able to see past the cats. There stood the Admin team, tied up, knocked unconscious and on their way through a portal. Minnie leaped to follow them but banged her head against the wall as the portal closed. The rest of the lolcats made strange smiles, took the ‘Invisibl biek’ pose and then disappeared. A strange silence filled the destroyed server room, only disrupted by the noises of the broken wiring.

Sangheili collected what remained of his miniatures, Rawr picked up his knife and Defnop stashed his flamethrower in his hat again. Deacon walked over and picked up Minnie, and slid a hand over the wall. “We’ve got to see how the others are doing” he said. We then walked up the stairs and met with the others. They all looked battered, scratched and de-grammarfied but Qbix stood forward. “How did it go?” Deacon asked. “They came through the lobby door” he said “But we were able to hold them off without casualties. What happened down there?” Deacon didn’t say anything for a moment. “They kidnapped the admins and crashed the server. The server will fix itself within a couple of hours, but we need to get the admins back ourselves. Let’s discuss this in the Awesome Room.”

The simple fact was, the room was not so awesome now when everything seemed to have frozen. A unicorn had frozen in mid leap, smurfs, gays and emos in a battle stood still like statues and (To Rightfalls horror) the fountain of Pepsi had frozen. Two huge fyreballs sat still below the ceiling, the biggest one which I knew to be Corrupt a Wish, and some new one that had apparently grown at an explosive rate. We all gathered around Deacon. “This is what you were brought here for. This is where Fyreball need you. This is FYREBALL! But no community, however great can defeat such bad grammar. No, we must to use the lolcats own methods against them, but for that, we’d need to venture into… There.” He pointed at the room with the ‘Danger’ sign. "And for this, I need one person who can get it for us."

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Original post: http://www.fyreball.com/d/BGZh2x